The Popular Front for the Liberation of the C.P.S.A

A hum of activity sweeps across the front-line in readiness for the Summer Offensive. Sights across the sand-bags. Dug-outs packed with ammo and a cheery smile from the veterans as the big guns are wheeled out once again for another big push. Yes, we are going over the top again in June…

It looked a close run thing back in May at Brighton conference. Though the grandees' emergency motion was passed overwhelmingly there was little enthusiasm in the trenches for another big strike before the summer holidays, particularly when it became clear that our only allies were a motley band of teaching unions which have never taken mass action before. Can you wonder why - a teacher on phoned in on R4 to say " do you really want your 5 year old child being taught in a class of 35 by a worn out 68 year old?"

The PCS vote was not a resounding echo from the Trotfest, but that is to be expected, we always get a low turnout. However, 61% is an upturn on our usual 55% or fewer of those voting in favour of strike action, and the many of those who falied to vote will go along with the democratic decision and take action on 30th June

But a week is a long time in politics as Harold Wilson famously said. Other unions have seen the chance to put the boot in to settle some old scores with their own Managements – like RMT's Tube drivers who will have a series of strikes over the Wimbledon fortnight including our own 30th June because one of their drivers has been sacked for his Trade Union duties. Talks with ACAS broke down today. VINCE CABLE'S threat to outlaw public service strikes at the GMB conference has definitely stiffened resolve and not just amongst PCS members.

Inside the Big Tent there's no disagreement on the need to fight if only to strengthen our bargaining position if and when the Coalition Government decides to negotiate on pay and the thorny issue of pension rights. The Independent Left for what it's worth, and that's very little these days, will bleat on about their selective strike plan but will go along with it when the day comes while 4TM says nothing – largely because HOWARD FULLER uses it to bang on and on about Israel while WILLIE SAMUELS tries to whip up enthusiasm for a new “ PCS LABOUR” bloc.

The proposal for a centrist Labour Party faction, first floated at Brighton conference, has now been fleshed out in the latest 4TM bulletin. But we've been down that road time and time again in CPSA with the old “LABOUR LEFT”, which to be fair to Sir ROY D'LEWIS did have some relevance as part of the old CPSA Broad Left. And that is the problem for LITTLE WILLIE. A faction that supports the MILIBAND leadership and open only to individual Labour Party members could easily find other allies but only within the Big Tent . But SAMUELS doesn't want to unite with the grandees and they want nothing to do with him. All he has succeeded in doing is put the backs up of the Tories and cranks within 4TM that he wants to exclude, but in the absence of any concrete plans to launch the new group “ PCS LABOUR” it is likely to remain a pipe-dream.

Back at Chateau Falconcrest the knives are out for DAVID McEVOY over the row over the pay-off for long-standing temporary PCS project workers in England on pittance statutory provision payments on their termination. Nothing has been said about the Wales and Scotland bids by Jayne Smith and Karen Foster. These will continue after the 2012 England bid goes under and they are embedding union learning staff into PCS by directly employing staff to continue to recruit and organise.

And as the Union Learning Fund money goes, McEVOY will have even less to do apart from sitting amongst an ever shrinking circle of Falconcrest staff who hate his guts with almost as much venom as they have for Mr PASTRY. What did they buy him for his birthday? They same as they bought him for Christmas and his birthday. Nothing: no card, no pressie, no after works drinks. JESUS might have expected better from these 2 practising Christians: no peacemaking on their aganda...

All the Government money over the years and not one union learning rep is embedded, that is, employed by PCS . They have done great work in recruiting members in a declining membership climate, because they get to talk to everyone and their reward is? The order of the boot on statutory redundancy terms, the same ones we are fighting the government on.

Goodbye to learning centres, goodbye to learning at work-supported by ULR's and PCS staff/campaigns, goodbye to PCS Reps being able to desktop on ‘learning issues' which  actually means recruiting opportunities  to you and me.

McEVOY rarely does a full week these days. When his son was at home he used to claim child care at least one day a week. Now he is known to stay in hotels for conference but not attend sessions due to ‘tummy' problems. Many see him as an idler resting on his laurels. The Union Learning Fund bid he got each year he obtained by rewriting the previous years' bid and the first bid money he got was from a prospectus copied largely from the UNISON bid. ‘Look at the cash I brought in' he says with some justice but he has done nothing to ensure that PCS continues to champion learning in the workplace in the longer term.

The break up of the research dept has been most amusing as the enormously paid Band 5's have had the researchers passed to them to manage. PHYLLIS OPOKU got the short straw yet again with PAT BUDU. The other Band 5's haven't stopped laughing.

The VER scheme hasn't smoked out some of the deadweights either. KIM BURRIDGE is on the list but she knows she can't be touched and she isn't afraid to tell everyone. After the treatment of PAT CAMPBELL, HR Supremo NIGEL PIERCE knows he's only a signature away from another ET. Senior management are getting a bit tetchy about the amount of grievances and ET's under the PIEMAN'S watch. The demise of the GMB branch after the appraisal debacle is not helping his case. A union who fights for the workers but shits on their own is sending ripples across other unions and MAREK is determined to leave the blame at Mr PASTRY'S door.

Talking about has-beens former ME FIRST chief, JAMES UNDY, has found himself something to do now that he has been put out to grass – writing drivel in the INDEPENDENT in defence of VINCE CABLE. You can read Herr FLICK here: http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2011/06/07/death-to-cable/

But you'll have to fork out £1.50 to read about another old chum, MIKE McCANN. The onetime RAMSBLADDER lieutenant who is now the LABOUR MP for East Kilbride in Scotland is under fire from the local Tories. It's in PRIVATE EYE this week.

And finally all the anoraks will be pleased to note that another shadow of the BARRY era has retained his position amongst the leadership of the Labour Group in opposition on Croydon Council. The Tories described the internal election as a “bloodbath” though it could be nothing like CPSA in the good old days. Nevertheless the local rag pointed out that: “One of the Labour gainers is probably PAUL SMITH who gets the lively highways and environment role opposite the aforementioned Phil Thomas. Anyone who witnessed their physical squaring-up during a break in a fractious cabinet meeting discussing cuts last year will look forward to round two”. Whatever can they mean by that…

Anyhoo, the masses have spoken - All out on 30th! Let the British Spring begin.

 Let he who has committed no sin cast the first stone

Jesus of Nazareth

NHS to be rebranded as ‘Britain's Got Illness'

Health Minister Andrew Lansley has confirmed that the latest NHS reforms will require patients seeking treatment to be seen by a panel of three healthcare professionals, ‘sitting behind a desk with their hands on a buzzer with a light-up x attached'.

“Patients want choice, and also a second opinion' said Mr Lansley. ‘This gives them both, provided that they accept our definition of ‘private consultation' to include the viewing audience of ITV2.'

Under new guidelines each commissioning team will have at least one GP who takes pity on every patient, ‘especially if they've come on a long journey to get to the surgery', one who buzzes all but the most obviously sick, and one who vacillates between the other two.

A trial in Hull saw profits from selling TV rights  ploughed straight back into front line services, with the complete overhaul of at least two vending machines in A & E funded within days. Once each NHS trust has a studio surgery, stage two will see the National Centre for Clinical Excellence scrapped in favour of a premium rate phone line giving the public the chance to vote for who gets the most expensive treatments. ‘We're really proud of that one' continued Mr Lansley. ‘Self funding care provision based on democratic choice! In your face, Miliband.'

One early trialist of the new approach seemed impressed. ‘The docs listened to my symptoms, then kept asking if anyone else in my family had more interesting illnesses' he said. ‘Luckily for me my nan had just died and I started crying – I got signed off work for two weeks, and a tissue from the cameraman. I bloody love the NHS.'